Paige Butcher

Also known as a 'lifesaver': she rescued the team from another boring, pointless, halfwit season with Charters.

Came across from university after being expelled for pig-napping Sir Oinksalot ('Oh you'll pay, don't think you won't pay').

Brings with her what can only be described as an 'interesting' vocab: Paige describes the girls (and Charters) in the teams either as 'fatties', 'coconuts', 'chickas' or a combination of the lot.